Saturday the 20th [of March 1943].
We have been freed [from school] for three days—a Purim break. The three days were very useful. I did something about my pile of presentations. In the street it is springtime. I sit in the courtyard of 6 Rudnitsker Street. The sun is shining and warms and caresses. The air is breezy and springlike. The sky is blue. It smells of spring. Spring forces its way over the gray walls, comes into the ghetto and bears on its caressing rays, on the blue air, the message that somewhere things are already turning green, somewhere willows are blooming, somewhere birds are already tweeting. And I delight in the spring breeze, catch the spring rays and my heart is drawn away somewhere…
Sunday the 21st of March [1943].
There was a gathering dedicated to the anniversary of the Paris C. [Commune]. A comrade gave a talk: “The Communards, the Eternal Example for the Fighting Proletariat”. In the evening we had a Purim celebration in the Club. We felt the urge for it, so then let it be Purim. We were the ones who set the tone. We sang songs and presented a [satirical] Purim play: “Leo (our manager) the Patriarch and the Twelve Sections of the Club”. Comrade Shmerke [Kaczerginski] sang with us and Pilnik, our theater manager, who was slightly drunk, chimed in. He laughed a lot, then went home to bed. We are awaiting the real Purim next year, when we will eat Hitler-tashn.
Thursday the 25th of March [1943].
An order was issued by the German authorities concerning the liquidation of 5 small ghettos in the Vilna region. The Jews are being transferred to the Vilna and Kovno ghettos. Today the Jews from the neighboring small towns are already beginning to arrive. In the street it is rainy and gray. The peasant carts sadly enter the ghetto like Gypsy covered wagons. On the carts sit Jews with children and their bag and baggage. The newly arrived Jews have to be provided with places to live. The school at 1 Shavler Street has been taken over for the newly arrived Jews. The school at 1 Shavler Street has moved into the building of our school. Classes are held in two shifts. Today we already went to class in the evening. School doesn’t make any sense. All of us are depressed. The mood is gloomy.
Sunday the 28th [of March 1943].
The mood in the ghetto is very oppressive. Squeezing so many Jews into one place is a signal of something. Bringing food through the gate has become very difficult. Several people have already been arrested and sent to Lukishki Prison. People go around gray and preoccupied. Danger lurks in the air. No! This time we will not let ourselves be led like dogs to slaughter! We have been talking about this lately at our [Pioneer meetings]. We are ready for every moment. We have to work on ourselves. This thought strengthens our nerves, restores our courage and endurance.
Sunday the 4th [of April 1943].
But our group does not let the bad mood take over. Every Sunday we have some form of amusement in the Club. Today there was an interesting quiz-evening. We sang and had fun as young people usually do.
Monday the 5th [of April 1943].
Sunday at 3 o’clock the streets were closed off in the ghetto. A group of 300 people, from the Jews of Sol and Smorgon, went away to Kovno on a large transport. A transport of Jews from the region had arrived at the railway station. Standing at the gate, I could see them packing. Happily and in a good mood they went to the train. Today we received the terrifying news: 85 railway cars of Jews, about 5000 people, were not taken to Kovno as they had been promised, but were taken by train to Ponar, where they were shot to death. 5000 new bloody victims. The ghetto was profoundly shaken, as if struck by a thunderclap. The mood of massacre has taken hold of the population. It has begun again. The claws of the hawk have appeared before us again. People sit confined in a crate and on the other side lurks the enemy, who is preparing to annihilate us in a refined way according to a plan, as today’s massacre has shown. The ghetto is dejected and saddened. We are defenseless and faced with death. Once again the nightmare of Ponar hovers over the little ghetto streets. It is terrible, terrible. People are walking around like the living dead. They wring their hands. In the evening an urgent meeting: the situation is clear-cut. We have no one to rely on. The danger is very great. We have confidence in our own strength. We are ready at any minute.
Tuesday the 6th [of April 1943].
The situation is oppressive. All the terrifying details are now already known. Instead of to Kovno, 5000 Jews were taken to Ponar where they were shot to death. Like wild animals faced with death they began as a matter of life and death to break out of the railway cars. They broke the little windows that were fortified with strong wires. Hundreds of Jews were shot while running away. The railway lines are covered with the dead for a long stretch. There were no classes in school today. Children are running away from their homes where it is terrible to remain because of the mood there, because of the women. At school the teachers are devastated as well. So we sit in a circle. We pull ourselves together. We sing a song. In the evening I went out into the street. It is 5 o’clock in the afternoon. The ghetto looks dreadful. Heavy laden clouds move over the ghetto and envelop it. It is dark like before a storm. Our mood, like the sky, is overcast. The streets are filled with people, lost and frightened. 25 policemen were taken to clear away the dead from the pits. Many survivors have escaped from Ponar. Here comes a Jew and after him a crowd of people. He is pale, with wild eyes. His coat is entirely covered with lime. Here they are leading in three children brought by peasants. Wounded are being brought in. It keeps getting darker. Suddenly, thunder and lightning and it starts to rain. The anxious, unhappy people are driven off the couple of little streets with whips. The rain pours angrily, as if it wished to wash everything away from the world. At night I am at the Club. It is dark. The lights won’t come on until 9 o’clock. So we sit in the dark. The group sings a song. It feels oppressive and painful. The situation is still very tense. We are on guard. Yet, that very thought relieves the difficult hours.
Wednesday the 7th [of April 1943].
Our mood is a little better. A happy song can be heard in the club. We are, however, prepared for everything, because Monday proved that we must not trust nor believe in everything. We may be fated for the worst.
