Excerpt from the Testimony of Mushimire

I was the youngest in my family of nine children, five of whom were killed during the genocide and massacres of 1994. I was three months pregnant when my husband died. We had been living together for only four months.

On April 6 1994, before we had even learnt of Habyarimana’s death, a militia took my husband claiming he knew where the rebel who had killed him was hiding. After three days of waiting for him to return, I gave up on him. On the third day I was attacked and taken captive by a big group of militia. At the village authority offices I found many other women with whom I was then imprisoned for a month. During this time the militia would come to rape us.

John did not return. I later learnt that he had fled on hearing that Kigali had fallen. I was rescued and taken to a school. Many injured people were being treated there. I found that my sister had survived, and by a miracle of God, my pregnancy survived the ordeal. I had a son, which cheered me up. I also heard that my mother had survived and I returned to live with her.

I suffered complications and constant infection following the genocide, which is why I took an HIV test. The result was positive. I was not surprised given the ordeal I had lived through. I began to hate myself, and everything around me, including my own son. I am currently taking very expensive medicine, which helps ease the pain and increases my immunity to most sicknesses. Taking the medicine requires one to eat well. But sometimes I can’t afford food.

I must live with the pain of having only enjoyed four months of marriage. My Mom always tells me to remarry, but that is because I have never plucked up the courage to tell her about my sickness. Because of my ordeal, I have come to hate all men irrespective of their race or looks. But I am glad that my son did not contract the HIV virus.